Today Is As Good A Day As Any

I have a procrastination problem. I signed up for this blog over a year ago, and yet, I’m writing for the first time today. I wish I knew what was holding me back? Fear, perfectionism, maybe embarrassment, I have a lot of issues to choose from. However; on the advice of a wise woman, today is the day I begin. 

I don’t like change. Unfortunately, change happens and there is nothing I can do to stop it. So, starting today, I will attempt to embrace change and welcome it with open arms. Most importantly, I’d like to find a way to harness the energy of the Universe to draw positive changes to me, instead of just accepting what comes along.

This is a thrilling and terrifying adventure that I am embarking on today. I’m not sure where to start, but instead of waiting to find the perfect way to begin, I’m jumping in! The last few years have not been great for me. I went through a painful breakup that haunts me to this day, I lost a close friend to cancer, as well as the death of two beloved dogs. Instead of making me stronger or killing me (which is what I have heard are the usual options) I have instead become a kind of zombie in my every day life. Going through the motions, without the emotions that make life worth living.

I miss the joy that I used to feel, even if it means I have to feel the pain that inevitably comes with it. I’ve gained sixty pounds over the last three years as I discovered that I can eat my feelings. I’m tired of being fat and the invisibility that comes with it. I’m tired of isolating myself because I’m ashamed of who I am and what I’ve become. The worst part is that I’m the only person who has been judging me, and I’ve let it keep me from the life that I want to live. I used to be funny, outgoing and free-spirited. I want that girl back!

The change I am making today is being honest about who I am with anyone who happens to read this post, and more importantly, with myself. And, if I’m really being honest, I guess I have to admit I feel absolutely sick at the thought of putting this out there for the world to see. I feel ashamed. But, I hope that after hitting publish, I will also feel a sense of freedom that I haven’t felt in a long time.

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Today Is As Good A Day As Any

    • Thank you! I appreciate the support and you taking the time to comment. It means a lot to hear from someone who is going through something similar. I’m going to check out your blog.

      • Thanks! I hope you do. I never would have imagined the support I have received by starting a blog. I hope yours becomes this type of blessing for you as well. You might also check out Fitocracy. Com. It is like Facebook for people pursuing health and fitness. I have found it to be encouraging and supportive and I can use all the support I can get! Cheers! -Stefanie

  1. I know exactly what you mean (my blog has started and stopped twice). I just started posting again today, and I think it’s worth it to keep at it! It helped me move forward before, but because I was a perfectionist I put too much pressure on it and ended up quitting. I’ve made some positive changes and now I’m ready to share what I learned from the dark times, and it sounds like you have a lot to share too. Know that there are people out there who believe in you– you just have to show them you’re there for them to believe in! 🙂

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